13 May 2012

{teach} marriage might make you sore

Sometimes my husband can be a little overzealous.
Sometimes I still think I have something to prove.
And sometimes...marriage can give you a sore butt.

We {my husband and I} got in our car this weekend and drove. Then we set up our tent and slept. 
Then we put our bikes together and rode. And rode some more. And rode. some. more.
I broke my personal record for distance cycling. And crossed one thing off my list.
So now I have 29 things to do before I'm 30.
[.....]

We had a rough start, with too much to do before we left and misunderstandings about our plans and expectations. But eventually, the kids were happily dropped off to play with two of their favorite people for 24 hours or so and off we drove,  forgiving each other and saying things like "well... yeah...I'm to blame too. I should have communicated better with you." Always.  

And things like "don't do that again". With a little crooked smile.

The drive passed quickly with plenty of interesting conversation. What did we talk about? I don't remember, but it was good. :) We arrived in the dark, tired. Put sleeping quarters together. And slept.

In the morning, I woke up suddenly from a bad dream including a swaying cobra-like snake reaching out at me. aaaaah -- I knew my dreams would get crazy soon, with my plane tickets saying I leave in 18 days. {more on that soon} Tim was patiently waiting for me to awaken so he could take the tent down and put everything back in the car. Next time, wake me up so I don't have to dream about snakes, k? K.

Time for granola in our origami bowls, which I never pack on my solo {me and the kids} trips because they are too hard to fold. But my husband is multi-talented.

Get the sunscreen. Fill the water bottles. Double knot the shoe laces. Adjust the seat. Fill the tires. Test ride. Ready to go.
Did I know what I was in for? Nope. *insert marriage metaphor here*

I wasn't necessarily prepared. I didn't know exactly what to expect. I hadn't ever done anything like this before.

But I knew my husband really wanted me to join him in this adventure. And I was willing to give it my very best attempt. And I knew he would take care of me if I couldn't pull it off.

So off we went.
And the first 25 miles were beautiful. And the next 10 were doable.
And then we had a nice long break to play frisbee and how-long-can-you-coast and eat a fabulous high-in-carbs meal with friends.
And that gave us the energy and fresh start to push through the next 20 or so miles. Fastest part of the ride.

But right around mile 55 {I think my mental goal was 50 and I started to lose motivation once my goal was met} I started to fade. Everything was hurting. Of course my sitting down parts. And thighs. And wrists.

At mile 58 I asked Tim for an epidural.

He was so kind. Patient. Sympathetic. Somehow {it was all Tim...he pedaled his own bike and pushed me at the same time!} I made it to mile 61 and the promised ice cream. But then I had to get back on and ride 9 more miles. The bee sting helped distract me for a while...totally took my mind off the other pain! And then I pedal/coasted for a few miles and standing-up-pedaled the last mile across the causeway and bridge. I made it.
But it was HARD work.

So is marriage.

And it's totally worth it. Although I'm slightly concerned about my inability to get up off the couch right now.

Marriage and dating and long cycling trips all take practice and endurance and planning and intention and patience and fortitude and self-sacrifice and sometimes a long swig of Gatorade to get things back in balance.

So. Here are the numbers:


And here is the lesson:
We made it a priority to go do something fun together. We had a memorable experience. We felt closer because of it.


And like David Code says in his book {excellent reading by the way}, To Raise Happy Kids, Put Your Marriage First,     everyone benefits when we tend to our marriages:
"We must regain a balance between tending our marriages and nurturing our children. When our marriages meet our intimacy needs, then we can stop marrying our children. This frees up our kids to build their own identity, learn self-reliance, and become happy, independent adults who pursue their passions in life. Our marriage can also set a great example for future relationships. It's win-win for every member of the family." David Code, author, minister, and family coach
Do you believe that putting your marriage first might actually be better for your kids?
How do you put that into practice?