22 June 2012

Reflecting Tonight

I have not had much time for reflection lately. Even if I did manage to get away for a moment's reverie, perhaps in the bathroom, it wouldn't be long before a frantic cry or anguished plea for help would be heard. And then there they are again -- the sweet faced five-year-old and the passionate just-turned-three-er -- leaning on my leg, asking for more milk please, telling me about the spilled cereal on the floor.

Fortunately, I've been able to work on tasks that tolerate distractions -- photo processing, movie making, etc. But the writing from my heart part? Sometimes I stay up late to do that.

That must be why I fell asleep on the school room floor this afternoon. And then Peter woke me up because he wanted to give me a flower. A more pleasant distraction, I suppose.

So, I pause to reflect now, with sounds of rain and wind and brewing storm out my window. The sound is calming, totally unlike the sudden and dramatic rainstorms of Guyana. I feel like I'm trying to grasp at something, something completely out of reach now, something in what seems like the distant past. Two weeks back and I feel so so far away.

Real life smashed up next to adventurous overseas relief trip is like eating super dark chocolate infused with super hot chili pepper. Enjoyable, yes. Intense, absolutely. Exhausting, you bet. You might sweat a little. You might regret it for a moment. You might think twice about ever ingesting those two things together again. It might plant you flat on your back for a couple weeks, but you'll always come back for more.

I'm extremely tired, but I love what I've experienced. I love what I've learned. I love that it has stretched me. I love that I want to do it all over again.

I don't flinch and scream at the sight of little spiders in the house or bugs landing on me anymore. All bathrooms, even the yuckiest at the park or the most modest alongside the highway, are considered a blessing. And small aircraft, although still slightly worrisome, now rank higher on my list of reliable means of transportation.

My world view has been expanded. I have made new friends. I have survived things that have given me courage to go experience more.

I wish I had gone out and stood in the drenching rain, though. Just once.

Next time I'll bring a few extra changes of clothes.

If you have a few moments {six and a half to be precise} will you watch some of my favorite memories from Guyana? 

You'll get to see and hear the rain. :)