08 January 2013

{Happier at Home} Chapter Two: Marriage


I'm not worth much lately in the evenings...I try to do some writing, but really it's more of a blank stare at the computer screen, wondering what I'm supposed to be doing.

Today I've already made cornbread, rice casserole, fried egg sandwiches, and green drink, washed dishes three or four times, schooled the big one on sequencing and how to spell "could" and "would", read to the little one, swept the floor, and about a thousand other little asundry tasks.

And I'm not the only woman in the world who is then expected {maybe expected is too strong a word} to draw from her endless store of energy and charisma and be the interesting and funny wife he married. He knows it's a long hard day, but there's always hope, right?

Married with kids. Exciting stuff.

We're getting better at it. We've started to realize that our priorities will most likely differ and the way we come at things will probably be opposite. We've learned softer ways to try to change each other {cause you know there's gonna be some changin'}. We've learned that sometimes kisses are better than words. And we've learned to give plenty of gold stars. Most days the only stars I get are from my husband. And I appreciate every one of them.

Gretchen Rubin's list of ways to give a gold star:
-- say thank you for doing a chore, even if it is expected
-- say I love you
-- be helpful, even when they don't need it
-- speak highly of them in public
-- try to sound pleasant on the phone
-- voice appreciation often

Bottom line with anything you want positive results from -- you can only change yourself.
"If I want my life to be a certain way, I must be that way myself. If I want my marriage to be tender and romantic, I must be tender and romantic." Gretchen Rubin in Happier at Home
So I surprise him with a green drink. He gives me a kiss on the cheek and thanks me for all my hard work. I drop my expectations and find myself surprised at his acts of service.

We're still very tired at the end of a day, you bet. But I think we're learning to be kinder to one another. Cheers to that.